When did my baby become self conscious?
Is this my fault (and Nathan's)?
How do I fix this?
Nathan and I do talk alot about us wanting to lose weight, or this dress or this shirt making us look fat, etc (doesnt everyone?)...I never thought Emma was paying attention. It wasn't like we were conversing with her about it. We do put a lot of emphasis on a healthy lifestyle (we don't follow it 24/7) with exercising, knowing the difference between junk food and healthy food, explaining that everything is okay in moderation. She understands all this.
If you've seen Emma you know how little she is. I don't know why she would think she's fat. It's heart breaking really. Nathan and I give her compliments all the time, we praise her and tell her how awesome she is and how beautiful and lucky we are to be her parents. We also call her out when she's "bad" or needs an attitude adjustment. I thought we were doing good as parents but obviously I need to keep my insecurities to myself.
My 5 year old can't be the only one to have a negative body image on occasion...Hello, has anyone seen Toddlers and Tiaras? If TLC isn't your thing have you seen the SNL skit about baby spanx? At the time, I thought it was hilarious...now it's kinda sad.
I've known that one day I would have to talk to Emma about body image. I didn't think it would be so soon though. Any advice on this topic would be appreciated so please comment!
Kids learn what they see, and they see and hear more than anyone would ever think. You might try modeling a positive body image for her, or at least really watch what you say within ear shot.
ReplyDeleteShe's no more fat than you are, and yet you (and Nathan too, I believe) constantly stress about your weight and pant size. You ARE teaching her how to see and value the human body, whether you mean to or not.
Don't get down on yourself. It's not something you did on purpose, and there are many parents out there who wouldn't be responsible enough to recognize where her comments came from and make the effort to change. As long as you change the things you say, she will follow your lead, just as she did with this. Or you could tell her, "In some countries being fat is more attractive than being thin." I'm totally kidding, by the way. Don't follow that last bit of advice.
ReplyDeleteI left this out, but a few weeks ago I had a long Maxi dress on for church and I'm trying to get Emma ready. She points to my stomach and tells me it looks like I have a baby in my belly (I'm not pregnant)! She told me I looked pregnant again on a different occasion. So for the past few weeks I've been freaking out about having a gut (I'll blame it on the alcohol).
ReplyDeleteA few days ago, I picked out an outfit for her to wear that she liked at the store and when she put it on she said that everyone was going to make fun of her and she didn't like it...that it was only to be worn in the garden (we don't garden).
I had a talk with her yesterday so we'll see how this week goes.