Why is this so hard for me?
When I was little, I was extremely shy but I still had lots of friends. In high school, I started to come out of my shell and was friends with everyone. In college...oh college, there were no strangers! Everyone was a friend or a potential friend. College years were awesome, maybe it had something to do with the mass quantities of alcohol being consumed by everyone.
So what happened in the past 5 years that made making friends so hard for me?
I don't believe it's because I'm shy. I'll be honest, I just don't know what to say to people and then I get nervous and then I start having mini panic attacks. Not exactly the best way to introduce yourself to someone.
I don't really meet new people all that often. When I was working, I had my work friends (how I miss them). I guess I could go get a job, but then I'm going to have to find a sitter for Emma and right now I'm not comfortable leaving my daughter with a stranger (I still don't know the area all that well and you could say go to a daycare...there are some shady looking daycares around here). Nathan brings his friends and their families over here. Not yet though because he finally just finished inprocessing. Don't get me wrong, I like when we have company over here but sometimes I feel like he's bringing people over so I can become mandatory friends with. Our neighbors...so far I haven't seen any except the ones that live across the street and they're in their 70's...with hearing aids. So please don't say...go introduce yourself to your neighbors.
I found, in the past, that I can become friends with people who are outgoing and likes to talk alot. I guess because I don't have to think of things to say all the time and what to do. Yeah, maybe I'm a follower but it's okay with me.
I just thought of this, but sometimes I can be perceived as a bitch because I don't talk alot...it's not because I don't like you, etc...it's because I have no idea what to say and I don't want to come across as stupid so I don't say anything at all...and I guess that comes across as bitchy....sorry!
I watch Emma make friends...maybe I should take a hint from her. She just runs up to kids and starts following them around. She waves to every kid she can see. Maybe I should try these tactics.
Posting an ad on craigslist might look a bit desperate and creepy...
How can I make friends...and not have a panic attack?
Use Emma! Get her enrolled in something like gymnastics at the local YMCA, then every week you'll spend an hour sitting around with other moms with nothing to do but chit chat a little (and hopefully you'll stumble into an outgoing, very talkative and friendly one), and then you can totally use the excuse of "Emma really likes little BettyLou, would you like to bring her over to a playdate sometime?" (go to McDonald's afterwards, etc)
ReplyDeleteI totally understand where you are coming from. It's from being a SAHM, ever since I started staying home my ability to being the outgoing, easy approaching person has become harder. I dont speak as easily to people and have a harder time forming strong friendships. I feel ya.
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